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Miss Misanthropist

Writing With Myself

Male Virginity

Anti-FeminismMonica EdwardsComment

This was a topic brought to me by a follower and I think they make a very good point. It's a subject that isn't exactly talked about much and I would like to give my opinion on it since I was asked. The current situation seems to be that male virginity is far more shameful than female virginity. Even more so than feminists will claim that it is. Virginity has always been prized in women. For a long time. Since the beginning of days a woman was seen as more valuable and pure if she was a virgin. Men don't seem to have that luxury and nor have they ever seemed to have had it. It's definitely a privilege because if a woman says she's still a virgin, no matter what the reason, the majority of people will defend her as opposed to what would usually happen to men. 

For instance, and this especially goes with feminists, I see there are plenty of them who whine and complain about how sex isn't something men are entitled to. They repeatedly tell women that they should be able to choose when they have sex and who with. They get upset with some kind of "stigma" in society that it's "bad" if women aren't virgins. They complain that men "only want virgins". Things of that nature. They are pretty much pushing this "I can be a slut and fuck whoever I want without consequence" mentality onto women. They do this while all the while ignoring the fact that men don't exactly have the best reputations for fucking thousands of people either. Is it more acceptable for a man to have multiple partners? Yes. Somewhat more. There will come a point where a man has slept with so many women he becomes disgusting too. 

Let's also not forget about the whole thing with men cheating on women. As of late, there seem to be many articles about feminists bragging they they have cheated on their men. That it's even within their rights as women to cheat and the boyfriends/husbands are bound to stay with them after or else "something something misogyny" yet should a man cheat on a woman it's all about "getting rid of him" because he's a disgusting "player". A scumbag loser who sleeps with girls only to trash them and you shouldn't ever get involved with a guy like that. When a guy sleeps with multiple women (or has slept with multiple women) he's seen in much the same way as a female who has had multiple partners. A man who isn't trustworthy. A man who will leave you for the very next piece of ass that comes his way. Just as a woman who has had multiple partners might do the same. Both of them are looked upon unfavorably as disease ridden. There are "boys clubs", fraternities and things like that which will praise a man for such behavior but for the most part, after you leave that young adult area of life, it doesn't get much better for men. Here's an article that even blames men for whining about being virgins saying that the problem is really their own fault while trying to put a feminist spin on it. It's a "nice" article until it isn't. 

People also discount the idea that women may be throwing themselves at these men due to several factors, especially if they have money or look good and men, who are balanced differently in chemistry aren't going to say no. The whole species being replenished is based on men spreading around their seed. This is what causes them instinctively to seek out multiple partners and if they are available there shouldn't be any blame on a man for taking them. 

Then, the opposite is true. If a man has decided for many various reasons to wait to have sex or to abstain from it entirely, then something is wrong with him. There must be. Whether it be religious reasons, personal reasons, or whatever. In a situation where a man says something like "I have decided to wait until marriage to ever have sex" he's going to get a lot more shit for it than a woman who has made the same declaration. Society has placed some high value on men having sex. Sewing their wild oats, before marriage. As if people believe men have to get it "all out of their system" before they find the right one, and if they don't do this then there is something wrong with them. 

When it comes to a woman who has decided to abstain from sex until marriage or even just entirely, people see that as some kind of amazing feat of strength. Though on occasion you will find women (or men) who think it's "weird" the level of flack that women get for staying virgins (or having very little sex) isn't even comparable to the men who choose this lifestyle. It's even as bad is if a man has made it to a certain age, and has failed to have sex. Even if he finally has sex when he's 30 or 40 he's still seen as weird because he didn't have sex before that point. Sideways glances and people wondering what was "so wrong with him" that no woman wanted him until he was much older. There is a definite double standard between women "staying pure" and men who, for whatever reason, decided not to have sex. 

To me, personal choices are just personal choices. Whether a man has sex or not (for whatever reason) that's his business. If he has 100 sexual partners in a year or none at all. Who cares? Why is this anyone's business? Yet movie after movie pushes this idea of men needing to have sexual conquests. Over and over in romantic comedies, or dramas, or thrillers, you will never see a man who is a virgin, at least not by choice. It's not ever framed as something empowering or good. When you see a virgin portrayed on TV or in a movie (that also happens to be male) you will get one of two things. A timid, geeky, weird guy who is far too awkward with women to ever make the first move. Or a big fat gross guy who is far too physically off-putting to women to get a woman (despite perhaps wanting one). 

It's really time to accept the fact that many guys out there are perfectly normal and have perfectly normal reasons for abstaining from sex. There are guys who just aren't overly interested in sex, or they want to find the right person, or they have made a conscious choice to never have sex. Whatever their reason is, we shouldn't look at them as if they are weird. They are no more weird than the women who chose the same life. They are no more different or less empowered by the women who decided to wait til marriage. There isn't some sort of magical number or quota a man needs to meet in order to be seen as a "real man". Male virginity is treated with far more disdain and disgust than female virginity which is prized and has been for thousands of years. There's even accusations that the "myth of male virginity" is killing women. I couldn't make this shit up if I tried. 

Feminists have their complaints about this on both ends. Either a woman shouldn't be FORCED to have sex because society/men want her to, OR a woman shouldn't ever have a bad word be said about her if she's a total slut. Men, don't have that luxury. At all. Either they are some weird psychotic virgin still living at home with "mommy" in the basement, or they are some kind of scumbag player that will cheat on you the moment another girl comes along. There is no middle ground for men these days, as all of them are assumed "weird" or "cheaters" for the most arbitrary of reasons. If people really do want true equality, this is a good way to start. The end of the idea that there is something wrong with a man who stays a virgin. All of this is up to personal choice and no matter what the gender we should respect that instead of demonizing it.