This is an issue I've thought about for a while. People tell me, quite a bit, that my responses to SJWs/Feminists/idiots who comment to me on twitter, facebook, or YouTube are too mean. Or Harsh. Or condescending. Whatever. The point is that there are people who think this and I just wanted to set the record straight and point something out to them.
Being nice to someone who is already brainwashed isn't going to change the outcome of the situation anymore than being mean to them is.
For example: Think of a very conservative religious Christian. Someone who is very against gay marriage and homosexuality, which by the way I think they have every right to believe that, as long as they aren't forcing their beliefs on others. Let's say I'm having a discussion with one of those types.
Christian: Homosexuality is wrong and sinful and gay people are all going to burn in hell
Me: Didn't Jesus say to love your neighbor?
Christian: Not if he's gay! Because homosexuality is a sin!
Me: Jesus hung out with sinners all the time, he tried to help them
Christian: There is no saving a homosexual from damnation!
Well you get the point, here is a relatively calm discussion and me making points about why this Christian is wrong. There is literally no hope, for any reason, to think that Christian is suddenly going to be like, "Maybe you are right, maybe gay people are just fine" by me being nice to them. None. 0%. It works the same way with most feminists and SJWs trust me I know from experience.
Feminist: We live in a society that believes it's okay to pay a woman less than a man for the same job
Me: Actually we don't, see the wage gap is more indicative of the career choices women are making, not a system of oppression that is put in place to discriminate against them.
Feminist: Why do you hate women? How can you believe such bullshit? Women make 70 cents on the dollar I have this *FEMINIST BLOG POST* that says it's true
Me: I have these government studies to explain to you why that blog post is wrong *provides sources*
Feminist: OH MY GOD WHY ARE YOU HARASSING ME!? *Blocks me*
By the way, that legitimately happened to me. I even did a video on it where I showed exactly what the woman said and what I said. Even though I talked to her nicely, rationally, calmly, she flew off the handle and accused me of harassing her even though she asked for the sources that I gave her. Lets look at it in a different way, where I would have been mean:
Feminist: Blah blah blah wage gap nonsense
Me: Shut your face you stupid bimbo wage gap isn't real
Feminist: Blah blah blah internalized misogyny, stupid anti-feminist, something about me being a man or abused woman
Me: Whatever you whore
*Feminist blocks me*
As you can see, in both situations there was the same outcome. Being nice to these people rarely, if ever, renders some sort of "Oh I read your sources and you appear to be right". Seriously, it doesn't. I have one friend, and yes she's still my friend and I talk to her A LOT, who straight up refuses to believe that wage gap isn't real and we don't live in a rape culture. She's a feminist but "not that type of feminist" and thinks that "Egalitarianism" is pointless because feminism is the same thing. I talk to her all the time about this stuff. I send her sources when she asks for them, and the discussions remain civil. I've been friends with her for years at this point and despite all we've discussed and all the proof I've shown her, she still will not change her mind that feminism is the best goddamn thing ever. Obviously I'm still going to be friends with her but my point remains.
If someone is already brainwashed to an ideology, to a level where they are walking out in the street dressed like a huge vagina to protest goddamn nothing, no matter how polite you are to them, they aren't going to change their fucking minds. If you are mean to them, who cares? They didn't have a high opinion of you in the first place. If they aren't going read your source material no matter what tone it's presented in, then why should you even waste energy being nice to them?
I've tried both ways, and I continue to try both ways over and over and over. The thing is, that it doesn't matter it never matters. The only times that it has actually worked (being nice I mean) is when a feminist was being nice first. As in, "Hey no big deal but i was curious as to why you aren't a feminist" and I reply with a nice concise reasoning. They were already open to the idea that feminism may not be so great, so they asked out of curiosity. These are the types of people more likely to read sources and be open to hear what you say. Sadly, these types of people are also very few and far between and 99% of the time even after they read my sources they still have no interests in switching sides.
There's an old saying that, you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. I guess what I'd say to that is, "who wants flies buzzing around you anyway?"