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Miss Misanthropist

Writing With Myself

There ARE NOT 800 Different Types of Asexuality

LGBTMonica Edwards1 Comment

I believe asexuality is a thing. I also believe it's rare. The problem is now these so called "aces" want to be included in the LGBT spectrum. For one, it's asexuality, AKA, lack of sexuality. No sex. These people are not having sex. Why exactly do you need to be included in a rights movement for actual people having actual sex? Further more, why is there even a push to "come out" as asexual? If you don't believe me this is a thing that happens. People posting about "coming out" to their parents and friends as asexual like one would come out as gay or trans or something. No one cares. None. What rights are you lacking? What discrimination are you facing? None. You aren't even having sex you are just a person who doesn't want to be in a relationship. You don't get a badge or award for this. To be honest I don't even think people need a badge or award for being gay. I say this as a person who isn't straight either. Woopty Doo. I have had sex with women and men give me a prize. I mean honestly it sounds so stupid when you really look at it that way.

Yet, with asexuals now, not only do they want some huge pride movement they also want to have 800 different types of asexuality. No, it doesn't work that way. Either you are asexual or you aren't. End of story. 

For example, I've known two people who are what I would call truly asexual. For one, they were adults when they figured this out (which to me makes them more credible) and for two, neither of them thought they were asexual until they had sex and realized they didn't get what the big deal was. Both of them stated they didn't hate it but they also didn't love it. They said they were glad they had the experience but weren't interested in trying it again. Also these people don't constantly talk about sex, nor are they interested in it, nor do they seek it out or complain they aren't in a relationship because they don't care. 

On the internet, though, ESPECIALLY On tumblr this isn't how it works. There are so many different types of asexuals. Types. Like for instance the other day I saw something about "Homoromantic Asexuality". No. This is not a thing. Wanna know why? Lets take a look at the definition of ROMANCE okay?

Romance or romantic may refer to: Romance (love), love emphasizing emotion over libido

Now obviously there are different types of "romance" (or at least different ways to use the term) but when you use it directly in correlation with a relationship between two people what you are using it as is a term for courting. For finding love. Romantic love, AKA right back to the definition there which correlates directly with libido. 

Think of it this way, when you go read a romance novel or see a romantic movie what always happens in that story? Someone ends up having sex with someone else. Obviously there are "romantic periods" or time or whatever. There are things, objects, and so on that can be described as romantic but when you enter it into a relationship between two people it has to do with sex. You cannot be romantic towards someone you do not intend to be sexual with. In fact people just aren't romantic towards people they don't intend to have sex with. At that point it's just friendship.

Say you have a really good friend. Just think of a good friend right now that you have. Do you do anything romantic with them? Do you hang out with them how you'd hang out with a person you are attracted to? Want to have sex with? No, you don't. There is a completely different dynamic between you and your friend and someone you are interested in. If we are going to just apply the word romance to friendship then everything is romantic. It can't work that way and it doesn't work that way. If you are defining yourself as asexual you do not have sexual feelings, ergo you aren't homo or hetro-romantic with ANYONE. You are just friends with them. 

I don't deny that you may be asexual and have a preference for gender of your friends, but you aren't fucking romantic with them. You aren't going on lovey-dovey dates like actual sexual couples are and then just going home and doing nothing. NO one does this. Ever. Amorous love is completely different from platonic love or other types of love. Obviously love can be defined in many different ways, but romantic love is about sex. End of story. You love your family different from how you love your friends, different from how you love your pets, or video games, or celebrities, or music or whatever. Not all love is romantic. Then you have this weird form of "asexuality" which applies to people who aren't even asexual: 

First of all if you are asexual why are you having a sex drive in the first place? The definition is lack of sex drive. I know it's not abnormal for asexual people to masturbate, however it's REALLY not a priority of theirs either. Not enough that they are trying to go out of their way to define their masturbatory habits. Seriously. As I mentioned before the two people I know who I'd consider as true asexual barely ever masturbate. Both of them told me that on occasion they will if the urge gets too annoying. Then at that point it's quick and bang bam boom done. They don't pay much attention to it otherwise and rarely get the urge. If you are getting the urge to masturbate enough that you need to define your level of arousal you aren't asexual. 

Plus the fact that this, right here, this defines a ton of people who aren't asexual and it doesn't even make you special or abnormal. This is why porn exists. This is why erotic novels exist. This is why fantasy exists. Men watching two lesbians fuck each other, do you think they are picturing being one of the women? The only "active participation" They are doing is watching. Same with women who watch guy on guy stuff. What about people who read stories of castration (yes this is a thing). A lot of men who read this would never ever want to be castrated despite getting off by the concept. They have no actual desire to participate in the real act of sexual castration but it gets them off to fantasize about. People also like to get off to stories/movies about OTHER people because those people are attractive. This isn't something that is inherently asexual or even abnormal. Obviously a lot of people watch porn wishing they could fuck some person in the porn. A lot of fantasies are about the person doing something themselves. Yes this happens too. A lot of the time it is not that. The whole fucking industry of porn thrives on people wanting to watch other people do it and not actually participate for one reason or the other. 

These things, aren't asexuality. These things are some type of sexuality. Maybe it's a weird sexuality, maybe it's something not yet defined. It's not being asexual. Further more, lack of a sex drive or not knowing if you want to have sex is really fucking normal for young adults and teenagers. Yes it is. Plenty of teens aren't interested in sex at all. This doesn't make them asexual. Then you have to consider the awkwardness of being a teen and how hard it might be for some teens (probably most) to even find a sexual partner. Also not abnormal nor does it make them asexual. Yet on tumblr (and a lot of the internet) you will find idiots saying stuff like this:

First of all not even sure where to start with how wrong this is, plus the fact that they only tag girls and not guys for some reason, but children as a whole do not experience sexual feelings. Well not usually nor are they intense enough to label them as something or other. It's not unnatural for children to feel sexuality (at a certain point) but it's not a full blown sexuality at that point either. In any case, this is what happens. These kids/teens whatever get on tumblr, they see this whole new thing called "asexuality" and think that's what they are because they don't understand that having no sexual feelings at a young age (or even not a ton of them) is completely normal. Now they want to start a whole movement for something that is normal to begin with, no one is discriminating against, and no one fucking cares about. 

Asexuals can still get married. I don't see why they would other than for legal purposes but they can get married. No one gives a shit how little sex you are having. You don't need to come out to your parents as asexual. You don't need to tell your friends. You most certainly shouldn't be a part of the LGBT movement if you aren't having sex of any kind. Yet now the whole damn fucking internet is exploding with these "Ace pride" movements when I think the straight up truth here is very simple:

Either these aces are young teens/kids who need to be super fucking special and get a nice little badge for being different. Or these are people who are so gross and awkward they aren't going to ever have sex anyway, and instead of facing the truth of that they slap the "ace" label on themselves to "shame" anyone who tells them asexuality isn't real or they aren't asexual. 

With any type of sexuality you will have the opposite. So of course there will be people who exist with no sex drive and no intent to ever have sex. This isn't common though, and yes it is abnormal by definition. Just as being gay is abnormal by definition. Doesn't mean it's BAD it's just not normal. The whole point of sexuality at least in a biological way, is intended for propagation of the species. To be anything other than heterosexual is abnormal. It's time to stop acting like abnormal means bad, and that kids/teens with no sex drive are asexual. No one is super special for their sexuality no matter what the fuck it is. Can we stop handing out badges and awards for it yet?