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Miss Misanthropist

Writing With Myself

Feelings Equal Evidence, if you are a Woman

Anti-Feminism, Social MediaMonica EdwardsComment

A few years ago I dated a girl and for the sake of anonymity lets call her Ashley. The situation was a bit of a complicated one but, before we started dating we both mutually decided that if it didn't work, there was no reason for us to stop being friends. Well, things happened and I requested to go back to being friends with her. She was seemingly fine with this and everything appeared as if it were going to work out. Except it didn't. 

Ashley got extremely clingy a few days after I broke up with her. Now, keep in mind, me and her had problems before. I had known her for about a year before I decided to date her. At one point she had cut me off for saying something she didn't like on facebook then later came crawling back to me asking if I still hated her. To be honest, I didn't even remember what the fight was about because it was so petty, but I guess she did. In any case, I told her it was fine and I didn't care. Which eventually led up to us dating (this will become important to know later). So now that we are back to being friends she's texting me and messaging me all the time. She also is getting very pissy with me if I don't respond to her within 30 seconds of any text or message she sends me. 

One day, actually the day before I was about to get some major surgery and I mean put under, intubated, in the hospital surgery, she sends me a message. She wants to talk. I tell her that I have to leave for pre-surgical testing and we can talk when I get back. She demands I listen to her right then and there and we talk right now. I quickly explain to her that if i don't get this testing done, I can't get the surgery, and it's been put off long enough (I'm in pain, I keep getting infections, which is something she should have already known about). I leave, deciding that whatever the problem is, I can fix it when I get back. She was very prone to throwing tantrums like this. 

A few hours later I come back and there's a very long rambling message on my skype that says that she knows that I'm plotting against her, that I always have really hated her, and a bunch of paranoid crap. It ends with telling me that any attempts to contact her ever again will be seen as harassment. Keep in mind, as I mentioned, she'd already done this before so I thought she was just upset. I go to facebook and see she has me blocked on there. I go to Tumblr and send her a few messages via her inbox (there's a character limit so it had to be a few messages). Nothing in response. Then she starts posting on her blog about me, while also not talking to me. Getting pissed off, I send her a text telling her to lose my number (because I don't want her to come crawling back to me) and on twitter I send her something mean. That's where it was suppose to end. But, it didn't. 

Five hours after the last message, I'm minding my own business and the police call me. Apparently they have Ashley sitting right there and she's "terrified" because at some point she became convinced that I was going to murder her. No idea what point as all I did was call her some mean names and tell her never to talk to me again. Right? However in her mind she came to believe that I was headed over to her house with a gun and going to shoot her. She was even saying this on her tumblr account. Made it very public and very victim, "WOE IS ME I ALWAYS DATE PSYCHO PEOPLE" and that shit. Even without any actual proof of me saying any of this (because I hadn't) people on tumblr were quick to coddle her ass about "Poor baby you were so abused" when in reality, the past three or so weeks of trying to be friends with her, she was all up in my ass accusing me of everything if I didn't talk to her instantly. 

The officer asked me if I intended to harm Ashley and I was like "What? No...she lives an hour away from me and I get surgery in the morning, even if that wasn't happening I still wouldn't have intent to harm her." Seems she left out the part about me living so far away and having to take toll roads to even get to her house in the middle of goddamn nowhere. 

"So you aren't going to harm Ms. [Last name redacted]"

"No, I never was, what is she even talking about?" 

I guess at some point, five hours after the last contact, she went to the police to report I was stalking and harassing her. You know because 6 or so messages in total and one mean tweet is now stalking/harassing someone right? I'm not going to give out her twitter name but I can say if you search the twitter history between me and her you won't find much of anything (that's how I found that screencap up there). In any case, I asked the police officer to read back to me what I said that was a threat. The only thing he could repeat back to me was saying she was a fucking bitch which honestly I may have said on twitter (but I can't find it) and it's equally as likely I said it on tumblr, and that I told her to lose my number. He asked me what that meant (as if it weren't obvious). I explained that I never wanted her to call me again and to delete my number as she had a history of crawling back to me. I asked him how that was a threat, turns out it's not. Big surprise. I asked him how it was a threat to call someone a "fucking bitch" and to be honest it was funny having to listen to a police officer repeat back "fucking bitch" to me but I digress. He told me "Well I'd be pretty scared if someone called me a fucking bitch" to which I was like "Really?" because no, you wouldn't. You're a police officer. 

At this point I explained that Ashley had a history of mental illness, delusional behavior, thinking people were stalking her, and not taking her medication. All of which is true. I explained to him that she also has several other "stalkers" which were no more than ex-partners who she happened to run into on occasion because they all happened to live in the same small cow town in the middle of nowhere. Ashley equated this to her being stalked when any time she told me a story, it sounded more like she just ran into a guy at the same gas station. She really had no concept of the fact that the city she lived in had like 3 places for people to hang out so she was going to eventually run into this guy again. Whatever. I then asked him if this was even necessary as it was pretty damn clear I wasn't harassing her, had no intent to harass her or harm her, and most definitely wasn't going to drive to her house in the middle of the night, in December, right before surgery (or any time after) in order to kill her. He told me that, and i quote, "It's not my job to tell people when they FEEL harassed." 

That's right folks, this girl literally was able to file a police report on me because she FELT like maybe I was dangerous with no actual proof of any actual danger. This is how it works. The police report quite honestly includes notes about how I am not allowed to be "mean to her on tumblr or twitter". I shit you not. Because the police officer WARNED me about that behavior. This is something that actually happened. Her feelings were hurt and this warranted a police report being written up. It's mind boggling. She's also a feminist, and I know this, I knew this while I was dating her but she never was a bitch about it until AFTER we broke up and went back to being "friends". If you could even call it that, because mostly it was just her bothering me all the time and being clingy. 

As it turns out, she was apparently also friends with another woman who is constantly trying to get me arrested for well...nothing. Ashley pretty much only filed this police report for "street cred" that someone was harassing her and she was being abused and blah blah blah whatever. I'm 98% sure the woman who told her to do this was the same woman who is telling a ton of other people do to this. I've talked about her before, usually call her TC. She's the woman who won't call the police on me herself because she's also a criminal and she knows that if I know her real name I'm going to file an actual police report on her, which will land her ass in jail. The painful irony of the situation is, the woman who is the actual criminal gets more sympathy making up harassment stories than the woman who hasn't done anything but point out that there is criminal activity going on. It's like Anita Sarkeesian vs The rest of the universe, but only on a much smaller scale. (As in this TC women was scamming people out of money on the internet just at a lower more petty level and I was pointing out that she was a scam artist).

As more and more time progresses, it's becoming more and more clear to me that if you are a woman, you can get away with the most goddamn bullshit claims of harassment and be taken seriously even with the dumbest fucking proof ever. I was able to provide snippets of what I could find (I keep records like this ONLY because I know people like to use shit against me and sadly it HAS to be done) and it's not harassment. None of it's harassment. I won't claim it's not mean, but I'm certainly not threatening anyone or being psychotic. Yet, if you ask these women, Ashley, TC, or any other woman who is in that group (oh yeah there's a fucking group of them) they will all spin a web of lies about how I'm the most abusive/evil asshole on the goddamn planet, provide you no proof, and be taken seriously at face value. 

This mentality leads to worse things. It leads to the hive mind that surrounds a woman when she claims she's been raped with little to no proof (Kesha story ring a bell?). It leads to people believing the criminal is the victim and the victim is the criminal (Sound like Anita Sarkeesian anyone?). It also teaches people to look at women as weak, sniveling little victims, and yet we all keep doing it. I shudder to think what I may have ended up experiencing if I were a man, because I'm willing to bet Ashley would have conjured up a false rape story VERY quickly. In any case, watching this world become a place where all women have to do is "FEEL SCARED" to get police involved is utterly heartbreaking. Had Ashley been a man trying to report a woman, he'd have been laughed the fuck out of the police station. Can we just stop accepting hurt feelings as valid proof of goddamn anything? Because it's making the entire female gender look totally fucking stupid.