The other night I was watching a show with my roommate. Beyond Scared Straight. It's a TV show with at risk teens who go to prison for a day and get the shit scared out of them so they also won't end up in prison. There was a woman on there who was some huge, tough, badass scary looking woman and she said (proudly) she doesn't fight other women now because it's not a challenge for her. I looked at my roommate and I asked him "Would you fight her?" and he wouldn't give me and answer.
To give you some idea, my roommate is a big guy. Six foot two, 225 pounds, works out, and bench presses more than I weigh for fun. He's also worked private security before and has taken a police training course. The guy knows how to fight. He was featured in one video I did about why police don't try to disarm suspects because of how dangerous it is. He actually knows why because as mentioned he took a course on it. He still doesn't like answering the question if he'd hit a woman or not.
This morning I asked him the same question, if he'd fight that woman from the show. What he told me was that it's a no win situation. If he fights her and beats her ass then he has become a woman beater and yet if he fights her and she beats his ass then people get to bust his balls about getting beaten by a woman. No win situation. The woman in this show was huge, and she looked tough as shit. I certainly wouldn't fight her, cause I'm not stupid. He said that he definitely thinks he could take her but he never would because he's not going to ever fight a woman. Or anyone, really, as he's a very big pacifist and hates any type of violence. He's not the type of guy who needs to prove how strong he is by beating anyone up and I can respect that. Then I asked him something interesting.
I asked him, "Are you only giving me this answer because society has conditioned you not to hit women?" and he told me that growing up, how he was raised, was that if you hit a woman (as a man) you aren't a real man. Real men don't hit women. I hate to use the term "problematic" but I'm wondering if this mentality is harmful or helpful. Over the past few years I've seen more and move videos of females assaulting males and the males doing basically nothing to stop them. In the rare occasion they do something to stop the woman (because she's bordering on getting dangerous) the moment a man defends himself he's instantly some sort of woman beater instead of just defending himself. Even in situations where the man simply restrains the woman to keep from getting hit, he's considered some type of monster.
Feminists want equality, yet they routinely balk at the idea of a man hitting a woman. For any reason, even in cases of self defense. Not to mention the feminists who will actually make fun of men who are domestically abused by women, or even downright deny that men can be abused by women. One wonders what is going on in these situations. Is it merely a situation of a man being taught not to hit a woman, or are a lot of these women like the one I mentioned who said she only fights men because women aren't challenging? Is it a combination of both? Men reluctant to fight women and women intent on beating men? Does this mentality help men as a whole?
I am not advocating men go out and start beating women, nor am I advocating women go out and start beating men. In fact I think no one should hit anyone unless it's a life or death self defense situation that warrants some type of action to prevent severe harm or death. However, these questions do need to be asked. When my roommate told me he wouldn't hit a woman I said "So I could just start wailing on you and you'd do nothing?" And he said "I'd definitely restrain you but I wouldn't ever hit you." To be fair he's huge so even if I could get in ONE good punch it wouldn't do much and I'd be pinned. But he'd never hit me or any other woman. I asked him about a man who was equally matched to him and he's not hesitant to say he'd fight that guy.
In the fight for equality, this does come up, men asking if women want to be "hit" by men. Women routinely do pick fights with men and then cry unfair if a man chooses to defend himself. In this way do women really want equality? Or do they still want to be coddled? If you don't think it's okay to hit a woman, ever, no matter what the situation or what the woman is doing, even if it's dangerous or life threatening, is equality something you actually want? Or do you really only want special treatment?