Quite a few years ago, I was talking to my sister who is a self described radical feminist. Or at least at the time she was, I don't talk to her any longer so I don't know what she is now. In any case, I was asking her about things related to tumblr feminism. At the time I had just been attacked by tumblr feminists and what they were saying didn't exactly match up with what I believed feminism to be (even though I had never called myself a feminist). I know my sister knows a lot about feminism so I asked her what the hell was going on. I said "Are these girls feminists cause this isn't what I know feminism to be." My sister replied with a very interesting statement:
"There are many definitions of feminism and none of them are wrong. All of those girls are feminists."
That's what she said to me. I didn't think of this until very recently, to be honest. I'm also not sure why I suddenly remembered that she said this to me. Probably because I constantly ponder the whole "not all feminists are like that" argument. Then I recalled this was her explanation. This was the type of girl who took gender studies classes. The type of girl who won't take her husband's last name because it's oppressive. The type of girl who finds sexism and rape culture in every last aspect of life. She's a radfem, or at least lived as one for several years while we were still in communication.
If what she's saying is true, and she seems very knowledgeable on the subject, then it actually just confirms that yeah, all feminists are like that. All those girls screaming that feminists don't ALL hate men and feminists don't ALL hate porn well they are ALL feminists. If there are many definitions and all of them are correct then there is no way you can claim someone isn't a real feminist. Though my sister is very knowledgeable on this topic she elected to get her master degree in counseling and actually does something useful with her time. Thank God she didn't get a masters in gender study. At very least she was able to recognize there was no practical application for a degree like that, even if her bachelors was in sociology.
The thing is, as much as feminists love to claim "those aren't real feminists" or "real feminists don't act that way" yeah they do. Those feminists who are so ashamed of certain aspects of their movement need to realize that if those women are using the feminist label, they are feminists. These girls don't take the time to actually confront any of the toxic members of their own cult, they instead take to twitter and tumblr and other social media to berate anti-feminists. They have gone on a mission to inform every anti-feminist that NOT ALL FEMINISTS ARE MAN HATING BEASTS.
I don't personally believe ALL feminists are horrible, radical misandrists, but I do believe that they are all feminists. Under the label of feminism there are several different sects. Many different sects which believe very different things. Yet they all use the same label. If this is the case then you cannot claim that someone isn't a REAL feminist. If someone is using the label then that's what they are. The problem comes down to the fact that feminists cannot actually agree on one set definition. One rule. They will point you to what the dictionary says but when it comes to specific terms and conditions they vary widely. Since feminists aren't even on the same page currently, on what real feminism is, there isn't any use in saying someone isn't a real feminist. The movement exists in limbo. It's disorganized, immature, and hateful. Yes all feminists are like that because they are all calling themselves feminists. Deal with it.